Journey to Inner Peace

10th station of the cross Mt. Krizevac

My Journey to Inner Peace

By Nila Passilla

My initial interest in Medjugorje began with viewing a video tape on the subject, followed by reading The Message by Wayne Weible, and reading several monthly newsletters. This is my testimony concerning my journey to holiness during my trip to Medjugorje in November of 1990..

Before I left home, I wrote out my personal petitions to be placed in the box at St. James Church. Among them was that I wanted to have the Spirit of Repentance to receive new life and truth through the Gift of Forgiveness. I asked to receive Purity of Heart and Soul because I very much wanted to pray with my heart as Our Lady tells the visionaries She wishes all of us to do. I especially wanted to pray the Rosary with deep devotion. I also asked to be released from worldly ideas, thoughts and deeds; especially concerning the spending of money and various material things like clothing and make-up, etc..

My call to holiness began when we arrived in Medjugorje. The next day, our pilgrim group of 28, along with our spiritual guide, Maria Strasner, left our house to walk to see and hear Vicka at her home. Then we walked to Marija's house. They were both so beautiful, and we all listened intently to what they each had to say. We then began to climb Apparition Hill about 11:30 A.M., and we had a very peaceful and private devotion when we reached the top, where we were all led in song to honor Our Lady. At 3:00 P.M. we were in St. James Church to see and hear Father Jozo. He spoke to us about our faith and our commitment to it. It was very moving and an emotional experience. We all stayed in the church for 15 decades of the Rosary and then the Croatian Mass..

The next morning was Saturday and, after breakfast we took taxi cabs to the bottom of Mt. Krizevac [Cross Mountain]. We all began to climb Cross Mountain at 9:45 A.M. We were led by Maria and, as we stopped at each Station of the Cross, our priest, Father Dave, led each Station in prayer; after he finished, Maria would add the most beautiful spontaneous prayers I have ever heard. Her prayers added to the spiritual experience very much. As we climbed the mountain, using our tall sticks to help us, I felt compelled to look at the sun to see if I could stare at it without harm to my eyes. I tried two times, and it was just too bright, so I looked away. .

*Then as Father Dave was praying the 10th Station, where Jesus is stripped of His clothes, I decided to look up once more into the sun, and this time I had no problem staring at it. I then grabbed my friend’s arm to tell her to look at the sun. The next moments that occurred are ones I will never ever forget!!! Only moments later, as I kept staring at the sun, then out of the clouds I saw Our Lady looking down on all of us from the sky. She was all in white with a halo around Her head, and She was standing on a cloud. At this time I could not move, and I thought everyone there was seeing Her as I was. Later I found out that they did not see Her as I did. Then Maria led them all up to the 11th Station, and I stayed behind to keep looking at Our Lady. She was so beautiful, and I did not want Her to go away. I began to pray in tongues. Then all of a sudden I felt a piercing pain in my heart, and a strange feeling in my stomach at the same time. I then bent over with my face in my hands and I began to cry very hard tears of sorrow because of all my sins. And at that time I knew the pain I was feeling was because of my sins against Jesus. I became very weak in my legs. Soon Maria sent Father Dave back down to help me up to the 11th Station where everyone was waiting for me to continue to the top. Maria asked me if I could please share my experience at the 10th Station with all of them. I told them all that I saw and all that I felt.

Later that afternoon, at about 4:30 P.M., I was able to find an English speaking priest, so that I could make a good, and probably the best, confession ever. After he gave me my penance, I told him about my experience earlier that day and asked him if he could give me an interpretation of what had happened on the mountain. He said to me that my soul was clean, and that I had received Purity of Heart, and my soul was cleansed by Mary's appearance to me. I felt so happy at that time..

It is difficult to put into words some of the feelings that I came home with. I only know that I wish everyone, especially my loved ones, could and will one day have these same feelings of inner peace that I now hold dear in my heart and mind. I realized the morning of November13th, when we were supposed to leave Medjugorje, I had a strong feeling of not wanting to leave, because of the peace and also the beautiful Croatian people in whose home we were guests – who had opened their hearts to us and fed us with a great deal of love!! It was like having one foot on the edge of Heaven and having to turn away and leave there..

When I got home I realized that this was not the end of my journey, but just the beginning, as I began to live the messages. To my surprise, the church I began attending for daily Mass has a mosaic of Our Lady that looked – except for the color of Her gown – just like the vision I saw of Her in Medjugorje! 22 years later, every

day at Mass, when I see that mosaic, I am back at the 10^th Station on Cross Mountain. I will be forever thankful to Our Lady of Medjugorje.

Editor’s note: Nila lives in Meadville, PA.
Source of This Article   http://www.spiritofmedjugorje.org/